workplace

Losing your temper in business. The take 5 rule.

I’ve done it.  We’ve all done it.  At some point in your life, you lose  your cool.  You get mad, and you show it ~ sometimes quite visibly.  But what happens when you lose your temper in business?  What can happen?  And what are the long lasting effects of losing your temper in the office?  Here’s my experience and what you can do to avoid or minimize problems when it inevitably does happen to you.

1. I’ve lost my cool numerous times in the office, usually I get red in the face, start to frown dangerously, and get real quiet…. I can tell you from experience, that look usually shuts people down and RARELY does it get beyond this point for me.  Yah, it’s clear I’m mad, but people that have worked for me know that I’ll cool down in a few minutes… especially if….

1.b. The best tactic not to go beyond this point (turning red/ frowning) is to say “let’s take 5” and walk outside or get some water… remember to breathe, and that life is bigger than whatever you are mad at.  After 5 min. you should be cool enough to talk rationally again.

2. Occasionally, even after 5 min., I’m still angry.  Heck, I can still be mad after 2-days, and sitting down with that person again just sparks back up the anger.  I can’t keep “taking 5” constantly.   What to do?

2.b. The best thing to do is to try to take an ‘active listening‘ approach.  This involves starting at the beginning (after a take-5 or when you’re cooled down), asking again about the problem, then most importantly repeating the problem back to the person from their point of view.  They will feel heard and then they will be ready to listen.  Explain your problem.  Ask them to say it back to you.  Then ask them to explain what they want.  Say it back to them.  Tell them what you want.  Ask them to say it back to you.  Now find a solution.. you’ll both be read to figure it out.

3. So… uhoh.  I yelled.  I screamed.  I lost it.   Have I done that?  sure.  Just never let it get physical… more on that later.   All you did was yell… maybe you cursed… What do you do now???

3.b. My best advice is to quickly acknowledge you lost your cool and you need to “take 5”.  The world is not over.  This happens. Has happened to me.  Nothing too terrible is going to happen.  Follow 2.b above, and all will be okay.  After your take 5, acknowledge that you were wrong to yell, but you are still angry, and then move to active listening.

4. So, you got physical?  This has not happened to me.  Hopefully you’ve taken 5, got away from the situation.  In my companies, there is a rule: no-one can refuse or get upset about someone’s need to take 5.  I HAVE seen someone get physical at work 1 time.  I was the manager.

4.b. So, what happens if you get physical at work?   I can tell you what I did. I fired the person, immediately.  On the spot.  No regrets, no 2nd chances.  You get physical at work, you should be fired.  Period.  Hopefully your workplace has a take 5 rule… if not take it yourself.  Getting docked 5 minutes of time is better than being fired.

I hope this blog has left you with some thoughts.. feel free to post them below.  I respond to all comments and questions.

Health in the Workplace (Urgent and Important)

You are young… maybe 25.  Healthy as a bull (or healthy as a young filly)…  Either way, workplace health is not something you think about.  Maybe you are a programmer, maybe you are an accountant, marketing manager, or whatever…. but did you know that you are probably doing SERIOUS damage to yourself at work?  I didn’t know it.. and now I’m paying for it.  This topic (Workplace Health) is URGENT and IMPORTANT, according to Stephen Covey’s 7-Habits Principles… you need to act now!  Here’s my story, and some tips for how you can avoid workplace health problems.

My Story:

I have had at least 3 careers in my 20+ years of working.  First, I was a lifeguard and paper-boy.  These jobs were great.  The only problem is I was out in the sun… a lot… and usually without sunblock… so who knows what kind of skin damage I did.  One year as a lifeguard, my skin was so dark as to seem “grey” and flaky to the touch.  Very bad.

Next, I became an engineer/programmer.  I spent 10-12 hours every day, sitting at my desk, eating meals like (see picture) and generally slouching.  This has led to a very bad situation.  Not only does my wrist hurt after using the computer for 10-20minutes… my lower back has decided to age much much faster than it should.  My discs are degenerating much faster for someone of my age, and recently, I’ve had to have Chiropractic and other medical care related to my back.  Worse than that, when my back hurts, I can’t play with my kinds, exercise, or do any of the fun weekend-warrior stuff I used to do.

Now, I’m an executive.  Again, I spend a lot of time on my computer (8-10 hours a day)… one thing has changed though, I am now more aware than ever of my health.  Here are tips for what I should have been doing my whole life, but sadly only recently started doing.

  1. Get Proper Posture:  Sitting at your desk, your knees should be at 90degrees, your feet flat on the floor, your arms at 90-degrees, with fingers on the keyboard, and your eyes should be even with the BOTTOM of your screen.  Sit up straight, don’t slouch, and don’t be tempted to lower everything.
  2. Take Proper Breaks: Every hour at least, get up and walk around for just 5-minutes.  Look at something more than 10 feet away for 10 seconds every 10 minutes.  And most importantly, don’t just sit there for hour after hour!  (especially not in a slouched position as I did, which caused all this back trouble I have now).
  3. Eat Right:  Take the time to eat a healthy lunch.  Fast-food is killing our nation. Eat a good balanced healthy lunch… not too much.  Salad is the best.  My propensity to eat meals like the above is a problem.. it’s way too much for lunch and far too few greens…. it’s still better than Fast food though.
  4. Try A Standing Desk or Ball: I use both now.  Standing desks keep you moving around (just don’t slouch!), and Exercise Balls are great for core strength (again NO SLOUCHING).
I guess the moral of this whole story is: if you work in an office, for the love of your back.. and take it from me:

DON’T SLOUCH